Preschool through 2nd Grade

Preschoolers are especially vulnerable to changes in routine and the disruption of previously secure environments. Because they generally lack the verbal and conceptual skills necessary to cope effectively with sudden stress by themselves, they are dependent on family members for comfort.

The loss of a valued possession can be very disruptive to these children. If the child loses a favorite teddy bear, blanket, or some other object that he/she values greatly, the child may need extra attention and replacing the object may be of concern to the parents when their child refuses to accept a replacement.

Children at this age may be affected as much, or more, by the reactions of parents and other family members as they are by the direct effects of a disaster. Re-establish comforting routines as soon as possible and provide opportunities for nonverbal and verbal expression of the child's feelings. Provide lots of reassurance.

Possible Reaction/How to Help

1. Sleep problems, nightmares: Encourage them to let their parents and teachers know.

2. Anxious attachment: Provide consistent caretaking and knowledge of caretakers whereabouts. Reassure child.

3. Regressive behavior (e.g. thumb sucking, bed wetting, various "fears"): Tolerate such symptoms in a time-limited manner. Provide love and physical contact. Increase your
support and attention. Give verbal reassurance.

4. Lack of verbalization: Help to verbalize feelings/complaints.

5. Difficulty identifying what is bothering them: Provide emotional labels for common reactions.

6. General fear and feelings of helplessness: Re-establish adult protection. Reinforce the fact they are safe and that you will be there.

7. Confusion (questions about whether the danger is really over or not): Repeat concrete clarifications for how the community has restored order and safety.

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Third through Fifth Grade

Regressive behaviors are especially common in this age group. Children may become more withdrawn and/or more aggressive. They may be particularly affected by the loss of prized objects or pets. Encourage verbalization and play enactment of their experiences. Resume normal functioning as soon as possible, but temporarily relax routine expectations. Reassure them that they are safe.

Possible Reaction/How to Help

1. Sleep disturbances: Support them in reporting dreams; provide information about why we have bad dreams.

2. Vivid images of the event; obsessive re-telling of it: Permit them to talk and act it out; address distortions, and let them know their reactions are normal.

3. Physiological Reactions/Somatic Complaints: Help to identify physical sensations they felt during the event.

4. Impaired concentration: Encourage them to let their parents and teachers know when thoughts and feelings interfere with learning.

5. Concerns about safety, their own and the safety of others: Help them share worries; reassure with realistic information.

6. Altered behavior (i.e., an increase in aggressive behavior): Help them cope by confronting their impulse control (i.e., by acknowledging "it must be hard to feel so angry"). Aid verbalization.

7. Preoccupation with their own behavior during the event: Help them express their feelings and their ideas of what happened to them during the event.

8. Specific fears: Help them identify and talk about traumatic reminders and fears.

9. Monitoring a parent's responses and recovery; not wanting to disturb a parent with their own fears: Offer to meet with children and parents to help children let parents know how they are feeling. Help integrate experiences.

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Sixth Grade and Up

Adolescent activities and interests are primarily focused on the peer group. Fear that feelings or reactions are unusual or unacceptable may push adolescents toward withdrawal or depression. Psychosomatic reactions are common. Adolescents may resent disruption of social activities and contacts and be frustrated by the inability to assume full adult responsibilities in community efforts. Frustrations, anger, or guilt may be shown in irresponsible, or even anti-social, behavior.

Adolescents should be encouraged to maintain contacts with friends and to resume athletic and social activities. Group discussions are especially helpful in normalizing feelings. Adolescents should be encouraged to participate in community rehabilitation efforts whenever possible.


Possible Reaction/How to Help

1. Acting out behavior, for example, antisocial activities previously uncommon: Help them understand the acting out behavior as an effort to numb their responses to, or to voice their anger over, the event. Encourage resumption of athletic activities.

2. Abrupt shifts in personal relationships: Discuss the expectable strain on everyone, including family/peers.

3. Detachment, shame, and guilt: Encourage discussion of the event, feelings about it, and realistic expectations of what could have been done.

4. Fear about recurrence, sense of vulnerability: Help them understand the Adult nature of these feelings; encourage peer understanding and support and recognize normality of fears.

5. Agitation or apathy: Encourage participation in the community cleanup and rebuilding.
Encourage physical activity.

6. Radical changes in attitude: Link attitude changes to the impact of the event.

7. Sense of helplessness: Encourage participation in the community rebuilding process. Encourage discussion of disaster

8. Anger over event: Promote discussion of anger, how it makes us feel, ways to cope.

When Problems Persist

Children will need help in understanding, integrating and recovering emotionally from traumatic events. Each child will cope with memory and feelings in different ways and at different speeds, given his/her developmental level.

When problems persist, talk with a counselor or family therapist such as those you will find at Catholic Charities. Help is available in your local communities from a variety of individuals and community agencies. At Catholic Charities, professional services are available and confidential. If you need professional services, contact one of Catholic Charities’ offices in the following locations:

• Downtown Los Angeles at (213) 251-3569;
• Pomona at (909) 622-2824;
• Pico Rivera at (562) 949-2496;
• Santa Barbara at (805) 965-7045;
• Santa Maria at (805) 348-1627;
• Van Nuys at (818) 988-2850;
• Venice at (310) 399-1451.

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Taking Care of Yourself
A Reminder to Help the Helpers

You, too, may experience a sense of dislocation when a disaster occurs. You may find yourself tense, irritable, cranky, thrown off-balance, and occasionally frightened. In fact, you may be "acting out" your own reactions to the disaster. Denial of our own need is common when we are responsible for others. Rejection of outside help is also common. Take the time to acknowledge and cope with your own discomforts and anxieties in a positive way. Disasters have an impact on everyone. Even if you and your family did not suffer any loss in the disaster, you may know someone who did lose everything or you saw someone who did on television.

Obviously, caring adults will do what is immediately necessary to provide care for children. But in the weeks thereafter, we must also find ways to tell our stories, obtain comfort, and reconstruct our own internal and external lives.

In our haste to re-establish normalcy, we must not forget that we cannot take care of others if we are not just as caring of ourselves. Children gain an additional measure of security when they know that we nurture ourselves as well as others.